Posts tagged seinfeld

I don’t mean to insult anyone’s profession.  In this economy, you’re considered lucky to be employed, regardless of how you make a living.

But sometimes, there are certain jobs that I just don’t get.  What is their purpose?  Why do they exist?  Why have there been no advancements in the field for several years?

An example of a profession that is a real head-scratcher to me, is a pharmacist.

I go to the pharmacy a decent amount.  I take prescription migraine medication, I actually go to the doctor for drugs when I’m sick, and I always need to refill SOMETHING (Allison = druggie).  Yet every time I venture into my local CVS and deal with this aggravating and overly complicated process, I NEVER understand why it is so much more difficult and stressful than it has to be.

I got back to the city today after a long holiday weekend, and decided to run my errands before I super-glued myself to the couch for the remainder of my day.  One of those errands entailed refilling a prescription; a simple, monthly prescription that I have been refilling for years.  YEARS!

I go into CVS and to my surprise, the pharmacy is actually empty.  This NEVER happens.  I’m usually on line behind 14 people, 10 of whom are 85 years old or older.  I go up to the girl and tell her I need to refill my prescription.  I give her my name, address, birthday, and expect this to be a seamless process.

“What day do you want to pick this up?” she asks.

“Ummm… can’t I get it today?”  

”Sure…” she says while hesitating, like I am asking her to create my medication from scratch and get FDA approval on it within a few hours. “What time can you come back?”

I say, “Can’t I just wait here?  How long will this take?”  I’m very busy, lady… I have a few days worth of shows on my DVR.  

She looks down at the computer, types a few things, and says (with some uncertainty), “Um…twenty minutes?”

I look around.  I am the ONLY person they are helping in the pharmacy.  CVS is relatively empty.  And I’m sorry, but aren’t you just going to the area where the pills I need are, taking them out, putting them in a new bottle and giving them to me?  Am I being naive?  Insensitive?  Is there more to this process than that?  CAN I DO IT?  

I wasn’t exactly in a rush, but I just don’t understand the pharmacist’s job.  They’re standing back there in their white lab coat; they are standoffish and unapproachable, and it seems to me they have a power complex.  Doesn’t matter if you can physically SEE the medication you need, right in the front row on display.  YOU MUST WAIT FOR THEM!  20 MINUTES!  THOSE ARE THE RULES!

So I sat in a chair, played on my phone, and waited the 20 minutes it took for the pharmacist to get me my headache pills and walk them 5 feet to the counter.

I’m not saying pharmacists aren’t smart people.  I’m sure there is intense schooling involved and extensive training so they don’t start handing out lethal combinations of drugs or giving out the wrong medication to people.  They even have the impossible task of trying to decipher a doctor’s sloppy handwriting.  And I bet if I ever have a drug-related question they are a great person to ask.  But I don’t use them for that.  I go in there for refills, and always deal with the wait.  Because that’s how pharmacists roll.  And I don’t get it.

“Well, we told her 20 minutes so now I’m gonna hang back here and stall until the time has passed.”

Classic Seinfeld:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yI6KdYdqrcA 

PS- if you’re a pharmacist… my bad.

I watched a ‘Seinfeld’ episode recently (I’ve been on a rerun kick lately) where Elaine didn’t want to take a car service home from work because she complained that the drivers always try to have a conversation with her.  She ended up taking one, and lo and behold, the driver tried to engage a casual conversation during the ride.  In order to avoid this, she pretended to be deaf.

Seems extreme, but it made me laugh.  Why?  Because even though I’m a social person, and some might even say “talkative” (SOME might even say, “never shuts up”), there are plenty of situations in life where I want to rest the vocal cords and be left alone.  

Us humans have to engage in conversations all day; at work we need to talk to clients and coworkers, we talk to our friends and family on the phone, and then see roommates/significant others who we are also forced to speak to when we get home (ha, just kidding).  So is it SO terrible to want silence when you’re in a scenario other than these?

I remember getting a gift certificate for my first massage when I was in college.  I was so excited to go, and desperately needed it due to my neck and back spasms and migraines (yes, even then I was a mess).  I got to my appointment, laid on the table, and in came the masseuse…who subsequently NEVER STOPPED TALKING.  “Where are you from?”  ”Where do you go to school?”  Who wants to get a massage and leave MORE stressed and aggravated when it’s over?  Lady, this visit ain’t cheap, and I paid for you to get my knots out; not to ask what my major is.  

Similarly, when I get my hair cut and have to first get shampooed, that chick ALWAYS talks to me.  It’s such a nice, relaxing part of the haircut process, and now I have to discuss my weekend plans with someone whose hands are on my scalp while water is running and there’s suds in my ears.  

Occasionally here in the city, you’ll also get a chatty cab driver.  Depending on your mood and where you’re going, this can be a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge pain in the ass.  During my unemployment I often took cabs to interviews, and would do a last minute review of the company/position in the backseat.  It would be in those exact scenarios where my cabbie felt particularly talkative, and would give me his social commentary on life and god knows what else.  Despite giving one-word answers and trying not to engage, they kept going.  There was also the time a cab driver I had did NOT stop talking about casinos and Atlantic City.  I have no idea what prompted this, but the conversation started when I got in the car and continued until the meter turned off.  KILL ME.

I’m OK with small talk on lines at the store or in the elevator, but there are some places and times in life that should allow for us to be left alone.  If I’m riding on the train and am either on my e-reader, listening to my iPod, or dozing off; this would not be an ideal time to spark up a conversation. So I gotta say, I’m on Team Elaine Benes here.  From now on, I’m pretending to be deaf.